It’s designed for those of us who are embracing the realities of aging.
For 28 years, I have been a successful clinical psychologist with a busy private practice. Then I experienced a life-changing event – my mom was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer at age 80 – and I found myself walking her through the end of her life. The death of a parent certainly causes a smart person to look carefully at their own mortality and the quality of their life. I found myself realizing that I am aging in a society that strongly devalues that process and I decided to make a pivot in my work right then and there. I became a Geropsychologist (someone who specializes in treating individuals age 65 and older). I did tremendous research on aging – how people do it, how they feel about it, and how it impacts them psychologically (and physically).
Essentially, I realized that there are very few guidelines in our society about aging (except for the constant message that we should try to avoid it at all costs). Most people seem to want to deny that it is even happening to us or the people we love. We are somehow supposed to not talk about it, just try to “stay young and vibrant” and hope for the best. But, what if, I thought, what if the best lies within the process itself? What if aging means things like knowing ourselves better, trusting our instincts, being able to discern the essential from the non-essential?
Now my private practice is entirely designed around how to help us age well, and I’m doing that by sharing all that I have learned and continue to learn each day from the amazing people I work with in consultation and therapy.
I do not mean to suggest that the process is easy, or even always enjoyable. My goal is to make it a lot less difficult to learn about strategies and tools for the process. Who says we should stop learning, or just accept things as they are? What if previous coping skills no longer work as effectively? How do we move forward in the uncharted territory of growing older?
This newsletter is an effort to begin that journey and to do what my mom always said we were here to do: “we are all just walking each other home.”
As we age, friendships are more important than ever.
Future newsletters will focus on specific strategies that can enhance aging. Let’s start with this one: Did you know that the benefits of friendship are most significant as we get older than at any other time of our life? Research tells us that social support helps us to maintain cognitive functioning AND physical health? We know that patients who have had cardiac events with the largest number of meaningful friendships make the best recovery. Spend some time today connecting with a friend, making a friend, being a friend. Stay tuned! See you next time!
IN FUTURE ISSUES WE’LL EXPLORE:
• how to successfully navigate the aging process
• how to distinguish what is typical with aging and what might be illness related
• how to understand and best manage a new diagnosis
• how to help family members align around caregiving needs, and how to negotiate new life challenges and more.